*SeXaY_CrazY*

I can’t believe it…I’m like posting 2 in one day.

I’m just feeling really sad right now, so I need to express myself in words because it would be inappropriate for me to scream.

I’m still young n stupid…I grow up too fast. Thatz not good actually, cuz I’m already thinking ’bout all the stuffz ppl my age wouldn’t need to care about. I envy those ppl who don’t have to think so much ’bout the future. I still can’t figure out, why do I have to b like this all the time. My tears r turning into time.

Why is it that when I Love someone, it would turn out terrible. I made a mistake once, I try not to make it again but why doesn’t it work out? What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I still living? Why am I always so afraid to face my problems? Why do I always have to run away? Why do I smile all the time, when my heart hurts so bad? Why can’t I just cry? The more I try to feel, the less I’m whole.

Why am I so honest and yet still hide certain truths? Why do I trust people so much? And end up getting hurt in the end? And why am I still so nice to them after what they’ve done to me? Why can’t I just shout at them? Why do I pity them instead? And end up in feeling sorry for myself? Why can’t people just speak the truth? Why can’t they just say what they feel? Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we have nothing to hide? Then why do people still lie? Why do we still hide part of ourselves from the world?

Why do we cry? Why do we laugh? Why do we feel?

I passed Chinese!!! Barely, actually…52/100. But itz pretty good for me

Something humiliating happened today…I was doing some A Mathz qn n I looked at the board. N I turned around n my arm hit the techer’s ass. N then Maithilli gave me this OMG-Look-what-you’v-done look. N I was like OMG Sorry, sorry, really really sorry!!! But the teacher doesn’t really care. Tho itz still pretty humiliating. Cuz Maithilli laughed like hell..

History class iz just soooooo fun. Cuz therez Vysh n Charlene. N I Love history a lot. N Mr Anthony iz a very good teacher. N Russia was weakkkkk. That country was so messed up mannnn. N I Love Trotsky cuz hez evil n he likes to kill ppl even tho hez not a cute guy.

Geog class isn’t that bad either, itz pretty interesting, the cyclones n stuff. Why r the hurricanes named? N why izzit that most names r girls? Izzit because girls are more destructive? Hueheuehuehue….

I know this gal, she takes the same buses I do in the morning n sometimes this guy from S’porean American School shows up. This gal…She usually sits when the guy’z not there. But when he’z there, she’ll like try to get as close as possible to him. I don’t really care. I’v never really seen the guy b4 cuz itz dark in the morning n I’m really sleepy.

There’z CNY celebration in skool tmrw. N itz not a half day. Therez still PE tmrw. NoOoOoO…I hate running. Evrytime the teacher asks us to run, I’ll make some excuse goin to the toilet or my eye hurts or smthn. Last yr, he made me do pushups in the middle of the road in skool. I can’t remember what I did wrong. The evryone was running n I got dust in my eye n it hurt so bad.  But hez actually a nice guy. Hehehehe…

Damn…The phone keeps ringing. G2g pick it up. I’ll probably be talking on the phone for hours.

Man…I’m totally in Love with this car…Chrysler Imperial. Itz so…Beautiful, gorgeous. Whatever.. You should go check it out. Itz got a bigggggg V Shaped chrome grill. N the inside’z like WoW… Someone said itz like a gangsta car…I dunno.but I’m LoviN it. Hehehehe. Itz about $60,000. C’mon, I mean some watches can b a thousand times more expensive than that. A few changes n I can make it my dream car. Itz ok if itz not SUV or smthn like that. Itz gotta have DVD player, stereo and Burberry interior. Huheuheuehue Where am I gonna get all that money from. I HAVE to start working!!!

Marsha is totally crazy over Ciara song. I can’t believe it. I asked almost evryone n nobody knows that song…Itz not like itz new. They watch too little MTV thatz why.

The physics teacher was wearing this totally weird shirt. Itz like a puke green bonnet. Cute but sooooo midieval. Where’d she get her clothes from? Her grandma? Louisa said it makes her wanna punch the teacher’s face.

The school’z totally sucking money out of me…How am I supposed to buy that car if the school keeps messing with my money??? I skipped phototaking today. They say you hafta do it cuz your face will change in 2 yrs. I still have those photos from 2 yrs ago, n I look the same. I think itz just another trick. I’ll have to take tmrw tho. I totally lied to Ms Chang I can’t stay in school today. She keeps saying…Thatz rubbish. I can’t believe she doesn’t trust us. She doesn’t even allow us to hav a fridge in class. But shez cute. Really. She reminds me of someone. But I don’t really remember who that someone is.

I’m always snacking so much evryday. I’m hungryyyy. G2g find some more Nachos. Damnnnn…I think my bro ate it.

I don’t need me a basketball player
All I need is somebody that’s down for me
And he don’t have to have money
His love is just like honey
It’s so sweet to me
He can have anything in this world
But he sacrificed it all for me
And I made up my mind
I’m in love this time
And it feels so real

*And I know that he won’t break my heart
And I know that we won’t ever part
It’s time, time for us to settle down
And I wanna be with him forever

They can say that I am crazy
For making him my baby
But that’s how it’s gon’ be
See, I done been through many changes
But this one, I ain’t changing
This one’s staying the same
I can have everything in this world
But I sacrificed it all for him
And I made up my mind
I’m in love this time
And it feels so real

I love you
And all of the things that you do
Oh baby, please
I need you
So believe me
I do Cause I love you
And every little thing, baby
They don’t know how I feel
Cause I know this is real

I just saw someone’s blog name: Hallowed be thy sensuality. I thought itz kindda nice Huheuheuhue. You know I Love those kindda stuffz. Hehehehe…

So little time n so many things to do. Therez like some kind of stupid mathz revision test tmrw. Not that I hate mathz or anything, I don’t really have the time to study. I have an essay to write, worksheets to do, loads of mathz homework. Im writing the essay now at the same time. I can’t figure out what happens next. ARGHHHH.

I wrote about some krazy thriller about me killing someone in my essay-english common test. Itz like the movie SAW but it’z more of like a battle in me. I thought the story started of great, then I dunno anymore cuz I took so long to think I just rushed through the rest of the paper. I didn’t do too bad for Chemistry, 80/100. For the rest of the year, I just have to pay attention to the teachers. You know…Today Ms Lee smiled. N itz like the first time since shez taught us. Some ppl in class r probably scared of her. But shez ok I guess. The English teacher’z totally pissin me off. She thinks writing essays is FUN. But shez kindda blur. I was eating right in front of her n she didn’t even know. Venza n Gaby’z got a big box with food inside at the back of the class HUHUEHUEHUEHUE. Nothing much happened today. I’v agreed to run around the school with Vysh n Charlene cuz they’r in TAF. N since I can always eat during lessons, I can run with them…N lose smthn. I’v become so health conscious. NOOOO I don’t wanna become like my mom. A health FREAK!!

I can’t believe they’r not letting us off early on Friday. That just means more homework cuz therez lessons. Damn…

My life’z so boring. n worse, I have had no sightings of cute guyz in the last few days. I’m dyinggggg. I need to find a boyfriend… Even worse, therez no church this week n evrybody iz goin back to Indo. Lisya, Ailyne, etc etc. I’ll be so alone. Mayb I should watch the geisha thing. NAHHH my dad’ll be here on Friday. Which’z kindda bad. Cuz sometimes he humiliates me in public. Itz not his fault. He probably doesn’t realize that ppl can hear what we say n see what we do. And I think he kindda hates me. I just have this feeling…

I think I’ll have lots of things to do nxt wk. Prepare for fund raising in church. I can’t believe I’m coordinator in sie konsumsi. I never thought I’d ever be coordinator. Itz just that I think I put too much pressure on myself. I’m too stressed when I have too much things to do. But baking cookies with Elfrida nxt week will be fun

I need to do my E mathz n A mathz hw. And study for the revision test. Sigh…

Dude….What iz this? I dunno a thing ’bout blogs, ‘cept that evryone seems to have it. I can’t believe I’m doing this. This will probably be my first n last post, maybe…..Who knows. I can’t be online evryday when my mamma’z here. I think the only reason I’m doin this cuz I have nothing to do. I’llv just listen to Ciara’z And I n Ray J’z One Wish all the time. Better than doing some sinful stuff on the net. This can be my second journal, maybe…But of course my first journal would b a little more personal.If you read it you’ll know my DEEPEST DARKEST secrets, things that I only keep for myself. Not really that much tho, cuz I’m mostly honest n outspoken.

Class’z totally dead. I don’t talk much anymore. If only Vysh n Charlene n Deb were there…Mayb I can do some crazy stuffz again, talk too much, Watch Johnny Depp movies Huehuehueuhe…Or mayb horror. I’d like to see Charlene scared. I need to go starve myself with Charlene. I’m too fat, I think. Tho evrybody thinks I don’t (This is just one of the stupid probs I have. I’m too self conscious) I’m gonna starve till I’m underweight, then I can eat again. Huehueuehuheue. Aniways, this 3e5 iz fun….Itz just that…Therez smthn missing. I mean ppl there break rules just like I do n then therez crazy Fion who likes to touch ppl’z chest.I find it kindda funny, but I think I’d be degrading myself if I do that. And there r some bad teachers n the worst bitches in class but I prefer not to name them. I’v seen in newspapers ppl do that n they get sued or smthn. I don’t wanna go to court n stuff.

I think I wanna work. To learn you know…Cuz sometimes I have nothing to do at home. Maybe I should really really find a bf. Mannnnn… Maybe I should try recording an album or smthn. Kindda impossible if i make it, but who knows I can be like Beyonce. Hahahahahahahahaha.Nahhhh Shez too good to be true

I think that the attendance thumbprint thing in school’z pretty cool. But itz slow n evryone has to q soooooooo long just to get to it. Itz stupid.

I really like Mrs Koh’z shoes. I think she has a million shoes. I’ve never seen her wear the same shoes or clothes before. She really likes to dress up huh. Just like me. We share the same birthday too Huehuehue.But Geog class iz kindda boring. Evrytime we go to Humanities Room, evryone will feel like sleeping. History’z different tho. I really stay awake. Cuz I like history a lot. I’m kindda history krazy. I’m a freak, I even read the textbook during the holidayz. Nobody else did…Or mayb I stay awake in History class cuz I’m scared of Mr Anthony. When hez mad…Dude…Evryone’z just so scared. Itz a good thing to know he can laugh, a bit sarcastic sometimes but still…I like history too much to hate him. Charlene said he threw ppl’z bookz to the garden in the school. N she said she saw girls looking for smthn there. Their stuffz had probably been eaten by spiders or smthn. What he think St.Marg’z is? A boy’z school?

G2g. I’ll update soon…Maybe…

Btw, Beyonce’z still HOTTTTT